Lost Friend
by Tomey

For years I've stared at your pictures upon my wall
Always smiling at my waking call
As a child I counted the minutes to return home to your gaze
And give you and overview of my school day.

I've since grown-up and reluctantly taken your face off the wall
Except for my favorite, which, is strategically hung out of view of all
Not that I'm ashamed of you or have tossed you away,
But many don't understand the comfort you bring at the end of the day.

Obsession? I wouldn't say that.
I don't keep a tally of all your facts.
Only wait for your appearance on the big screen,
And of course any news releases reporters might bring.

As we increased our years your photos changed.
Your gaze was distant, detached as if troubled that day.
Not knowing your history I simply withdrew to the sweet smiling child of our yesterday.
It was from that memory once in a while in my dream we simply would play.

For in my present world I prepared for a chance encounter somewhere.
For you were my mentor, my friend, my confidant on my journey toward my career.
I don't understand why you chose to leave at this time.
I don't know the pressures you left behind.

I do know I hope you are at peace and have journeyed toward the light.
I know I will still look over at you each morning and night.
And on occasion will anxiously await for my friend to step over to play in the sand.

Contributed by Tomey McGowen

---

Burned Out
by Julia Hübner

Burned out
All cried out
How I love you
Inside out
Over and over again
Keep my memories alive
Save me from the dark
Of neverending sadness
Save me from the insanity
Of unrequited love
Too late
Too soon he left
Admired him from far
Didn’t know what went on
In his soul
His soul is a house
We want to live there
I never want to lose my memory
Crying in the pouring rain
Of a November night
You left us all
We stay with with love and grief
I wonder
Will I see you again
You left before I could miss you
Years after I found you
I lost you again
Where can I look for you now?

Contributed by Julia Hübner

---

Forgiven
by Roseva Hoolan

I know you wish that you could've
changed the outcome of that day.
That you knew the magic words to say
to change what he did.
See you feel helpless and you question what if?
But nothing could've changed the way he ended it.
And all you can do is feel the emptiness.
No one could understand, why he would do such a thing
like that.
So handsome, so talented,
but something was taunting him.
His mind wasn't free.
He was in desperate need of some release.
Peace of mind was a luxury nothing could buy and that's why he took
his own life. So you can spend the
rest of your days wondering what you
could've said to make it ok. But
that's just a waste of time, cause
you didn't live inside his mind.
And you might say it's a waste, get
angry and curse his fate.
But I say your ignorance is blinding me.
Shed tears for the loss, it hurts down to
the core.
For the people left behind it is the worst of all.
But I know
God forgives lost souls, and for the
people that just can't take no more.
There's a place where they don't have
to suffer. They're forgiven.
Jonathan Brandis I know you found peace in the lord's kingdom.

Author's Note: My name is Roseva Hoolan and i'm a singer/songwritter and a poet from the bronx. This poem is dedicated to all of the family and friends who are suffering the loss of a loved one due to suicide. And that their lives aren't looked down upon. That they shouldn't be forgotten but should live on in the hearts of those who loved them for all eternity. This poem is also dedicated to the lost souls out there who feel there is no bright towmorrow may they find that light at the end of the tunnel. And not give up hope that their will be a better towmorrow.

Contributed by Roseva Hoolan

---

My Best Childhood Memory
by Kate

When someone steps into your heart
And saves you from yourself
They become timeless, a legend to last
They’re larger than life itself
Then came that November day
It cut me like a knife
How could someone so young, so bright
Choose to take their life

I was thirteen when I saw him first
My life was upside-down
Wordlessly he rescued me
Brought me gently to higher ground
Of this, I know, he never knew
But he meant the world to me
When I could count on nothing in life
He comforted me in my dreams

Watching over me like an angel
From the posters on my walls
I wondered what his life was like
As I blocked out the screaming in the hall
My house was like a war-zone
But there was solace in my room
My angel watching over me
So I could sleep amidst the gloom

He remained there on my walls, for many, many days
Giving me strength through the trying times
My guiding light in the haze
To him I whispered all my fears
My hopes and wishes, too
I grew older, but never forgot, the boy I never knew

The day we moved, I had a moment
Of not knowing what to do
If I was such a “grown up” now
Should I decorate with something new?
I took down every poster, and folded them with care
Determined I would start afresh
Years later, I still missed his stare
Although no longer on my walls
He remained always in my heart
I still whispered to him my hopes and dreams
As I lay in my room in the dark

He lived the life I thought I wanted
Of talent, fame and lights
I never dreamed that darkness hid
Behind those eyes so bright
Years came and went, but few were the days
He didn’t cross my mind
My thoughts kept drifting to the man
Who unwittingly saved my life
He gave me a chance at childhood
To explore my hopes and fears
He smiled down at me, sympathetically
All those nights I spent in tears

He inspired me to do the things I never thought I could
Though he didn’t know, he’d touched my life
He brought out of me something good
The person who I am today, is not who I’d have been
Had he not slipped past the chains on my heart
Silently stealing his way in

Now ten years later and out of college, I charged out into life
Smiling at how, when I was young, I believed I’d be his wife
A “grown up” now, but still a child in oh so many ways
No one knows I still think of him nearly every single day
My last breath of childhood, my light in the storm
He always brought a smile to me
I never thought things could go so wrong
For my best childhood memory

Contributed by Kate

---

Star Fire
by Jessica Moran

Soaring through the darkness
in a blinding flash of light,
A single star stood out.
his light bright Phoebus
Could not but envy.
His warmth gave life to
Gentle Terra, who now weeps
for her stolen star.

This ember that grew from flicker
to flame was too rich for use
for earth too dear and now by vile
death has been put out....

Yet one small comfort remains in this
Star Fire's light will shine for eons to
come despite the death of its source.
So that our cold barren hearths can
some semblance of mirth regain.

Contributed by Jessica Moran

---