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Fan WritingStories, page 7I didn't know jonathan personally, all I have is the images of him in my head, I'm probably like the thousands out there who are fans of jonathan from his acting carrier. But when he stopped acting, or the time he made his last show/movie. I still continue to have real dreams of him, from sea quest and the littlest details of how he was peronality, and features of his looks. I think hes a person who thought to much to himself. Others may think otherwise.. I'm shocked to hear that he commited suicide, thats definitely no way for a young person to go. Yes life is hard, but as they say "life is the way you make of it". MIND OVER MATTER. Well I'm sure he is in good hands, and in peace. Contributed by Vanessa I realised only a week ago… I realised only a week ago that Jonathan Brandis wasn’t alive anymore. I was devastated. Like many others, I tried to find out what he was doing nowadays, only to discover this horrible news. It’s been two and a half years since he left us, and I can’t believe I didn’t find out earlier. Jonathan Brandis’ death wasn’t covered in Swedish medias at all, though. I first discovered Jonathan when I was about twelve years old, it was in 1992. I found an issue of Teen Beat in the local grocery shop and started reading it. I wanted to be different from my classmates who also read magazines like that, but the Swedish ones. Of course there where lots of faces and names I didn’t know but I kept reading anyway. I liked the interviews, as they were real, not just articles speculating about rumours or rewriting of foreign articles, as the main articles of the Swedish magazines were. You got a bit closer to the stars and I enjoyed that. One of the faces I didn’t know was Jonathan’s. He caught me with his hair and his eyes and that big smile and he made me happy even though I didn’t really know whom he was and what he was famous for. In the interview he seemed open and honest, down to earth, with energy and happiness to last forever. My sister and me started to look out for him in films and TV-shows, and we got happy every time we saw him. But it wasn’t often, as Jonathan’s films never where big in Sweden. Until SeaQuest DSV started! We were thrilled to see Jonathan regularly and very pleased to be the ones knowing all about Jonathan when our friends had just discovered him! He spread joy and happiness to us every week, with his smile and laughing eyes. SeaQuest started airing in 1994 in Sweden and the last episodes where shown in 1996, ten years ago. In 1996 I was 17 years old and I was in High School. My life and interests changed, and I lost track of Jonathan. Every once in a while though, I remembered him with a smile. I was a fan but not a huge one of Jonathan’s and he always made me happy. I associate him with happiness; a source of joy. Therefore it was very difficult for me to accept that he in fact wasn’t happy at all. That he was so unhappy he didn’t see any reasons to live. This last week since I found out, my world has evolved around Jonathan Brandis. I’ve remembered things I haven’t thought of for years. I have gone from shock to sadness, and I guess it took me a week to accept it. I am still sad, but I will try to keep my light memories of Jonathan. In my mind you’re still happy, still a source of joy. In snow covered Sweden, January 2006 Helena Jauhiainen I had no pictures up and no videos were bought but I was and still am a huge fan of Jonathan. I was a little girl when ladybugs and sidekicks came out and I remember driving my 4 brothers crazy talking on and on about Jonathan. like every girl, I would imagine myself in the movie as his love interest. I'd spend hours going back through every scene and imagining him there with me. I wanted to meet him so bad. I watched Seaquest just like every other fan anticipating a scene with him in it. It wasn't just his looks, which he had been blessed with great ones, but his personality. Now I never knew him personally, but I knew he was a great, funny and very talented guy. I loved his acting. He was so passionate and not like a lot of actors who seem to just run through their lines. He was gifted and I'm sure you all agree. even though he hadn't been in a lot of movies recently, I always thought about him. I found out he died at my first job. I was very angry because no one knew who I was talking about and some people barely remembered who he was. There are no words to express the grief that overcame me. Then I thought, where are the fans? Where is the support? Does anyone but me even care? It wasn't big news on the celebrity news. And today I was thinking of him and typed his name in a search engine when lo and behold I uncovered this site. I wasn't alone after all. I read the stories and saw how many people adored him as much as me. I'm so happy that there is a place that celebrates his life and not just his death. Keeping his spirit here with memories, knowing that he will not be forgotten. Here's to a great actor who had good looks, a sparkling personality and wonderful talent. Here's to Jonathan Brandis. Contributed by Setty My obsession with Jonathan started when I was 10 years old back in 1992. I remember it being Spring Break and my mom brought me home a video to cure my boredom. The movie was The Neverending Story II and when I looked at the cover, it seemed like just another movie to me. But as I started watching it, my young heart would beat faster and faster every time I saw that gorgeous blonde headed, blue eyed young man. I knew I had to learn more about him. I found myself asking for $5 every chance I could to buy one of those teen magazines that Jonathan's face often graced the cover of. The walls of my room soon became full with posters, centerfolds, and pinnups of Jonathan. Nobody else would do. It had to be Jonathan. I wrote countless fanfics about him and I. About the way that we would one day meet, fall in love, get married, have kids, all that good stuff. I watched Ladybugs, went to the theatres to see Sidekicks, and watched every episode of Seaquest DSV until that day...yes..the day he started dating her. You girls know who I'm talking about. Tatyana Ali. Of course, I think she's great now, but then, she was evil. She was dating 'my man'. I know you girls out there know exactly how I felt, right? After a few years, however, my obsession dwindled and I soon became infatuated with new celebrities, namely JTT, Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, you all know the song and dance by now. One day, in late November of 2003, a couple of weeks after Jonathan had passed away, I was home, looking on Yahoo!'s home page. My eyes scroll down the page and they land on the headline 'Actor Brandis Dead at 27'. At that moment in time, my heart stopped. My face turned pale. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to act. Right then and there, I called my mom, being she was the one that started my obsession. She thought I was joking when I told her about his suicidal death. It was all I could talk about for forever. I couldn't stop. You would think I had dated him at some point, the way I was going on and on about him. I just couldn't believe he had ended his life like that. Such an amazing actor with a bright future ahead of him. Although there will be many celebrities in my future, and there is right now, there will never be another Jonathan Brandis. May he rest in peace. Contributed by Alisha This morning I was so happy. SeaQuest was back on the air. I was so excited to see my childhood role model was back on TV. So I thought I would go online to find out where Jonathan Brandis was now, what he had accomplished since last time I saw SeaQuest in first runs... I saw your site and immediately started to cry. Yea a grown man, crying. My heart is still aching. Last year I lost my mother, and have had a hard time dealing with it. I remember we enjoyed watching SeaQuest together... Jonathan's character motivated me to go to college for electronics. As a person he inspired me. Today, many years later I work for the Office of the President of Canon. Jonathan motivated me to reach for my dreams and never stop reaching... Thanks partly to him, I did... Wow, this is really hard for me... It crushed me to learn he ended his life. Over the years I had often felt like giving up. I never did despite some close calls. I made it through and here I am today, very successful and very happy. Jonathan made a difference. He made a difference in my life. I will miss Jonathan. If you can share this with his parents it would mean a lot to me. He made a difference in my life. I wish I would have written him and told him what a role model he was to me. I am going out tomorrow to buy the DVD collection of SeaQuest in his memory. I will never forget Jonathan Brandis. He will be missed sincerely. With Respect and Condolences, Brad Garbus Portsmouth, VA Back in the early 90's, I was a 23-year-old college student. A new show was coming on called 'SeaQuest DSV'. I was immediately interested in it because I am a fan of Roy Schieder. Little did I know I would be pleasantly surprised and delighted by a young actor named Jonathan Brandis. I developed an infatuation with his boyish good looks, his dimples, and those piercing blue eyes. I watched DSV throughout its run and was upset to see it go. I really enjoyed watching Jonathan grow into a handsome young man and was excited to see what his career brought him next. After not hearing much about him after SeaQuest, I kind of lost touch with his career. Needless to say, I was VERY saddened to hear of his death in 2003. My cousin actually called me and broke the news, remembering I had loved watching him on SeaQuest. This past week, the SciFi Channel was playing episodes of SeaQuest DSV much to my delight. I watched every one with a heavy heart, knowing Jonathan was gone. I decided to look him up on the Internet and that is where I found your website. I also recently saw "The Year That Trembled", and watched the boy become a man. I miss him dearly and wonder where his career might have taken him. Sincerely, Suzanne Zito Easton, PA May your spirit soar and wind may take you to a place of peace and serenity,where you can rest in peace! Contributed by Shinelle I used to have this calendar my mom got for me at the mall, probably like in 95 or 96 and there was this one I absolutely LOVED, he was wearing a red sweatshirt and just had the sweetest smile. I have no idea what happened to this calendar, I don't know why I ever got rid of it. Anyways, the day my sister told me about JB's death I had a dream of him that night and he was wearing a red sweatshirt. I woke up crying because I miss him. So my sister and I watch his movies all the time now. Contributed by Sarah Lane Plummer When I'm in my teens, me and a couple of of my best friends. There is 5 of us actually. Well one of my best friends have this huge crush on Jonathan Brandis. The four of us would constantly teased her about her crush on him. We made stories to humour her. Like making an "ifs" situation like what would you do when you meet him? How would you react? You can say since then he became a part of our lives. We follow his acting career like "Ladybugs" and his Television Series "Seaquest". Make up stories involving him. He was the source of our laughter and our source of bonding. He bound us all 5 of us girls together. Its not like the four of us got this crush on him but more of like fondness of him. Well except for the other one of course. Anyway years passed by and a few years ago, I watch Outside providence. Seeing his face brings back memories and I remember feeling so happy that he is still acting. Besides that I feel like in some way he connecting me to my past remembering me of all the good times I spent with my friends. Now 10 years passed by since I was first introduced to him. I'm 23 years old. I meet up with my 5 best friends whom I've not met like 6 or 7 years. Its A special day for us. More like a reunion. So there was 5 of us laughing, talking, catching up on all times when Jonathan Brandis name cropped up. Everybody started smiling and laughing thinking about the old days when one of my friends said quietly he died. The whole table just went silence. That time I remember looking at her and my face was full of shock and disbelief. I just couldn't believe it. I remember saying to her like it cannot be true and saying she should proved it. She said to look up online. When I got home, I decided to do just that and I felt like my heart just dropped. When I read the news about his death, I felt an overwhelming sadness coming through me. He was such a huge part on my life before. A link of all the beautiful memories and times I share with my friends. Jonathan wherever you are, I hope you at peace at last and me and my friends would never forget you. You live in the 5 of our hearts. Contributed by Iana Memories of Jonathan... I met Jonathan Brandis when he first moved to Los Angeles when he was nine and I was seven. I was swimming in the pool of our apartment complex in Hollywood, while he was walking around the edge. As there were not many kids in our complex, I was excited to see a little boy near my own age. After some coaxing from my mother's fiancee, I went over to meet him. He was immediately friendly, and I knew at that moment I had met a new friend. We spent that entire summer together. He and his mother had moved from the East Coast so he could begin his career in Hollywood. His father was a firefighter, and wasn't able to come with them right away. I remember Jonathan feeling sad and missing his father. We talked a lot. Jonathan got a remote control car that we would drive all around the swimming pool, being careful that it wouldn't fall in. We collected Garbage Pail Kid cards and played catch. I asked him once to sign my baseball just in case he ever 'got famous.' Of course, being the sweet kid he was, he signed it for me. The ball was lost after my mother and I moved, and I have wished many times over the years that I still had it. At the time, we both wanted skateboards more than anything else in the world, so we would go down in the basement of the complex and try to find parts for the board we were going to build. Jonathan had a small handsaw, and we found some wood and mattress wheels. We worked on our project in the basement. The saw Jonathan had was unfortunately very dull and had a hard time cutting through the wood. We both tried and tried to make it work, but after some time, Jonathan became frustrated and threw the saw down the vent in the floor. That was the end of our skateboard project. Oh well. I had my eighth birthday party in the courtyard of our complex. My other friend in the building, Sandra, was jealous of the friendship Jonathan and I had, and I remember her acting a little bratty at the party. I wore a yellow party dress, and everyone had pointy paper hats on. We played music on the little boombox my grandmother had given me, and danced all around. Jonathan stood on one of the party chairs and moved it all around. That was his version of 'dancing'. After the summer ended, Jonathan and I kind of drifted apart. My mother was getting remarried and his father was coming to California. We were both going to school, and he was trying to get television work. I don't remember who moved first, but I remember missing him when he was gone. My family moved to the San Fernando Valley, and then to San Diego. As the years passed, I watched Jonathan in movies and on television. I smiled when I saw him on the covers of Teen Beat in the grocery store. He was becoming successful and I was so proud that I had been his friend. I thought many times about writing to him, but never did. I didn't want him to think I was just trying to be 'another teen fan' with a crush. So I left him alone and watched him from afar. And that's what I have done over the years until two Novembers ago when I read the news of his death. It hit me like a brick in the chest. I couldn't believe it. I think I always held on to some vague hope that one day we'd see each other again and share memories of our childhood moments together. I wanted to tell him how proud I was of him, to give him a hug, to be his friend again. But he was gone. I know I couldn't have saved him from his despair or prevented what happened, but I regretted never sending him that letter, never offering that hug. Maybe he needed it. I still do. Rest in Peace, Friend, Amira (Ami) Siegel Seattle, WA 12/07/2005 
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Notice: Please contact the authors of each piece regarding redistribution. |
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In memoriam, Jonathan Gregory Brandis 1976-2003 |
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